The Battle of Anxiety v. College

I have come to accept that I struggle with anxiety. I never thought I would be that person with anxiety. I think that word gets tossed around too much, as well as too lightly, and that there is a stigma or a certain idea that people look towards when they hear the word. I believe that every persons anxiety is different, so it is hard to describe my own to others, but that doesn't mean it isn't there at all. I have better-off days and I have worse-off days. It is a struggle to manage it with school hearing advisers and people around me say "Just speak up and learn to express your own ideas". I wish it was that simple and easy cause I would have done it by now. I don't need anyone's pity. I am just sick of people telling me or giving me "helpful" quotes like "You can do it. You'll get through it". Yeah I will get through it, but that doesn't make my anxiety just disappear. I like observing people and things around me that I don't think I make the time to speak up. I'd rather see how other people operate and I don't think anything is wrong with that. I don't think that is a cause of my anxiety either. I don't know what causes it. It is an overwhelming, heart-racing sense of dread that drowns me a lot and at random. I can not help it. A lot of people associate anxiety with other problems too, but I can tell you that I don't hate myself or anything like that. I think the toughest thing is that on my bad days I can't get anything done along with my lack of focus and then I feel guilty for it because I did not finish the work I needed to get done. It is a struggle now, but I have hope in myself that when another bad day comes that I can learn to manage it. I want to succeed in college and not be struck down as a result of my anxiety.

Comments

  1. JenahNovember 2, 2017 at 2:25 PM

    I can totally see where you are coming from. In high school I was always quiet and never spoke up about anything. Even though I knew the people who were in the classroom with me I still could not get over the fact that people could judge me. Now in college it is much worse because I do not know the people in the classroom and the stress and anxiety of having to speak up in lectures really weighs me down.

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