Family v. School

This might come off headstrong or maybe not in the slightest bit relatable to you. It is even hard for me to explain. I am trying to understand this whole concept of mine and it first started out in high school. Certain events would pop up during my junior and senior year that conflicted with my family events. I joined more activities in the later years, with more responsibility, so it added more of this unwanted pressure. I found myself countless times having to choose between school work and my family. I cannot help my family is all around the U.S., so naturally, their arrival is very important to me because I could not see them for another couple of years. For example, my grandpa came up to California my junior year from Georgia, which he hadn't been to the west coast in almost a decade, and instead of going to Monterey with him and my brother, I stayed for cheer. I completely regret it, mostly because cheer was horrible. (What was I thinking?) There has been more little incidents, but those add up and take a toll on me. It made me promise myself that I would choose family first. I don't care if it's selfish and yeah, okay, stop nagging to me about how school is more important. I get it. I've heard the same lecture before, different person. But I have always put school first. It is overwhelming and shouldn't put a strain like I will get a lower grade or something of that matter. It's not like I would say bye to a final and instead go to lunch with a cousin. I know the different levels of importance. All I'm saying is, when my grandpa comes back to Cali, I'm taking days off from class. Maybe a just a day or two, who knows. Will I still feel this tiny sense of guilt? Yes, but not as much as the regret I'll feel not taking one day out of a whole decade to spend time with my relatives. I'm seeing the same pattern repeat lately and I truly think it is complete B.S. to choose. Although, I'm paying for college in the end so why feel guilty.